Right, listen up and listen up good. I have just about had enough of conflict within the LGBT community.
I have been reading things which suggest that I am something less than equal because I am not transgender. Apparently according to some – and you know who you are – I merely put on a “persona” as a woman. Those stating this claim it does not make a difference. Well if it doesn’t, why even say it then?
You are defining a difference. And when you do that, you demean another human being. Well to Hell with you. I am making a stand for myself and crossdressers everywhere. You don’t know who I am, you don’t know other crossdressers, so don’t bloody well tell me I am “different”.
Do you know what you are saying is like? It is like making a racist comment then saying to anyone of a different race to you “Oh but not you. We know you’re okay.”
I’ll even go one further. I once encountered a man-hating feminazi who dismissed the entire crossdressing and transgender community on the grounds that no male to female transgender can ever be a women as “I have a womb, they do not.”
How does that feel? Make you feel uncomfortable, does it? Insulting? Hurtful? Good. Now you know how I and other crossdressers feel when you say we are just “putting on a persona”.
You may see it that way but Xandra is an integral part of me – perhaps the better part of me, and when you try to make any differences, your words are hurtful. You may wish to keep that in mind.
Your claims are every bit as insidious as the gays and lesbians who deride bisexuals and claim they don’t exist. We are all in the LGBT community, we – of ALL people – should be the ones standing by each other and presenting a united front against the bigots. One would have thought the trans community would be the first to realise that.
Oh, and as I have been crossed, you have brought the bitch out, so my final parting shot is to the person whose blog mentioned this in the first place. I’ll remind you dear that it was not too long ago you were writing about going back to being a man, and it was me among others who advised you that it wouldn’t work.
You are right. It is wrong to divide us in this way. We are all queer.
And- feeling unable to transition, or overwhelmed by the stress of transitioning, people lash out. The temptation is to say, “I have a psychiatrist, so my issues are medical and real and you are just a pervert”. It is untrue, but I sympathise.
Thank you Clare. Many of us can neither afford nor have the time to go to a psychiatrist. We just have to deal with who we are in our own way. I did not embrace Xandra until fairly recently, in my 40s, but she has always been part of me. It is hard enough coming to terms with that on my own without people imposing divisions where there should be none.