Tag Archive | humour

Looking for an Ark Encounter?

20045521_1596311390399211_7503626277058911484_oYou have to see this, dears.  Creationist Ken Ham, founder of Answers in Genesis (AiG), the Creation Museum in Pittsburg, Kentucky, and Ark Encounter in Williamstown, Virginia, has had the latter lit up in rainbow colours at night.

Ken Ham, maintains that the Biblical record of creation is historically and chronologically accurate, the entire universe being created by God in six days, 6000 years ago.  He completely refutes biological evolution, despite looking so simian himself that he could get a part in a Planet of the Apes movie – without any need for make-up.

Kenny baby has now had his ailing exhibition lit up in an attempt to “reclaim” the rainbow from the LGBT+ community.

The photo on his Facebook page was accompanied with the following statement;

“We now have new permanent rainbow lights at the Ark Encounter so all can see that it is God’s rainbow and He determines its meaning in Genesis 6.

The rainbow is a reminder God will never again judge the wickedness of man with a global Flood—next time the world will be judged by fire.

The Ark is lit permanently at night with a rainbow to remind the world that God owns it and He decreed it’s a sign of His covenant with man after the Flood—Christians need to take back the rainbow as we do at the Ark Encounter.”

Personally, I think it looks simply FABULOUS!  I simply LOVE it.

Ark Encounter, which was originally meant to be a life-size replica of Noah’s Ark, with displays and anitromic animals – and dinosaurs – opened on 7 July 2016, after a controversial start.  Tax incentives were given to AiG to build the project on the grounds that it would attract tourism into the area.  Public money was used to build roads and other infrastructure to the attraction also on the basis that it would be recouped through tourism.  Both of these measures brought complaints from American secularists and atheists, pointing out that the US Constitution expressly establishes a ‘wall between church and state’.  Nonetheless, the project went ahead.

Then AiG discovered they could not make it as authentic as they liked.  Irksome little things such as health and safety laws, fire escapes, public lavatories, sanitation, electricity ducts, ventilation, light, etc, meant that instead of a full boat with one door and window, Ken Ham had to build half an ark with several windows, resting on concrete pillars, and supported by modern buildings to the rear.

Following complaints of discriminatory employment practices, the US Federal Court ruled in 2016 that AiG could insist in their terms of employment that employees must believe that the Bible is the historically accurate word of God and accept and believe in Young Earth Creation.

Ken ham  boasted that the number of visitors would be over 2 million per year.  In fact, people have failed to appear in such numbers, and Ham himself has kept downplaying the estimate of visitor numbers.  In an interview in Gospel Herald, Ham stated that in the first year Ark Encounter may hit their own lower estimate for the first year of operation of 1.1 million visitors.  The Lexington Herald Leader reported on 2 July 2017 that Ark Encounter co-founder Mike Zorath stated that the Ark would welcome it’s 1 millionth visitor in July.

And what caused this failure in visitor numbers?  Well, first Ken Ham tried to claim it was due to opening in the middle of the holiday season.  That may well be true, but it was Ken Ham himself who chose to open it on 7 July 2016, to reflect Genesis 7:7, “And Noah and his sons and his wife and his sons’ wives entered the ark to escape the waters of the flood.”  So if it failed, due to bad timing, Ham has no-one but himself to blame for that.

But then, he can always blame the atheists.  Which is precisely what Ken Ham did in a June 2017 AiG blog post;

“Recently, a number of articles in the mainstream media, on blogs, and on well-known secularist group websites have attempted to spread propaganda to brainwash the public into thinking our Ark Encounter attraction is a dismal failure.

Sadly, they (atheists and the secular media) are influencing business investors and others in such a negative way that they may prevent Grant County, Kentucky, from achieving the economic recovery that its officials and residents have been seeking.”

The latest controversial move is AiG selling the park – to themselves.  AiG applied for an exemption to a new local safety tax in Grant County, Virginia, on the grounds that it was a religious organisation.   On June 29, Williamstown City Attorney Jeffrey Shipp rejected their request, stating that it was clear that Ark Encounter is a for-profit entity, which is how it has been listed with the Secretary of State’s office since 2011.  AiG’s reaction was to sell their main parcel of land at the park, which the Ark sits on, to their not-for-profit subsidiary, Crosswater Canyon, for the princely sum of $10, so that it can be reclassified as a religious organisation.

Seems to me that Ken Ham and his associates need to make up their mind.  It is either a visitor attraction, or a religious organisation.  If it is the latter, then it should not be given tax incentives which would breach the secular US Constitution.

Of course, if he is really struggling, he could always turn the largest timber structure in the world into the world’s biggest LGBT+ nightclub.  Whaddya say, Kenny baby?

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Prejudiced Pastor’s Pizza Prank ‘Persecution’

Oh, you nasty, nasty American LGBT+ people, persecuting a poor Christian pastor for nothing more than his attempts to spread God’s love.

Aye! Right!

Regular readers of mine shall recall how I reported on the Orlando shootings, including the homophobic comments of Pastor Steven Anderson of the Faithful World Baptist Church in Tempe, Arizona, when he stated “The good news is that there’s 50 less pedophiles in this world, because, you know, these homosexuals are a bunch of disgusting perverts and pedophiles,”

No stranger to controversy, Pastor Anderson also stated that the victims of the Paris terrorist shooting deserved to die because they “worshipped death”.

It seems that some have now have had enough of his odious guff, and are now, ahem, persecuting him ~ by advertising free furniture and free airline tickets from his church on Craigslist, having magazine subscriptions posted to him, and having pizza delivered to his church.

Pastor Anderson is upset at people aiming to “harrass” and “persecute” him, and saying how they are all so nasty and uncaring.

Yeah. He’s really persecuted, isn’t he? I challenge Steven Anderson to spend one day identifying as an LGBT+ person, and learn what real persecution is all about. Even outwith the bigotry people like him spread, I somehow think that the very man he claims to worship, if he ever existed, was persecuted. Syrian Christians are truly being persecuted, to the point they are having to flee their homes and even their country. I write this in the wake of an 83-year-old priest being murdered by Islamist fanatics in Normandy. That’s persecution, having pizza sent to your door does not even come close to comparison.

That being said, however, Pastor Anderson does have a point. Doing these things is not hurting him or his church as much as the other people involved. People going out of their way looking for free furniture / airline tickets are the ones being inconvenienced. Pizza joints and their delivery drivers lose money every time anyone phones in a hoax delivery. Magazine publishers lose money with every fake delivery. In the cases of fast food outlets and magazine publishers, when they lose money, that only inevitably pushes up the prices for everyone.

So, if any Americans are reading this, I would urge you to stop doing this and find some other, more inventive, way of harassing this pond life. One idea would be to get a similarly homophobic business to send him deliveries. That way you could kill two birds with one stone.

Story here in LGBTQ Nation:

http://www.lgbtqnation.com/2016/07/stop-sending-americas-homophobic-preacher-unwanted-pizzas/#.V5erzlbtR9Q.facebook


Many apologies for the vomit-inducing alliteration  in the title, dears.  I’m hoping to be spotted by a tabloid.

“a dystopian LGBTI adventure novel”

Homophobe on Tumblr gets her ass handed to her.

When Tumblr user ‘webelieveinyoukris’  (I know, don’t go there, dears) posted a rant, attempting to use the “nature” argument against gays and lesbians, I don’t think she was quite prepared for the backlash.

The user having given an anology of three islands – straight, gay and lesbian – had her argument ridiculed when several LGBT+ people launched into a hilarious diatribe based around her theme.

Me?  I’m Captain Xandra, the Pansexual Pirate from Crossdresser Cove, in the Genderqueer Archipelago.  I always had a thing about sailors, and I have been known to hang around wet buoys.

Read the whole thread below:

http://www.gaystarnews.com/article/this-homophobic-tumblr-post-transformed-into-a-dystopian-lgbti-adventure-novel-and-it-is-amazing/#gs.7xVYCJA

Muppets Perverted says US conservative group

2363x3150Kermit condemned for being undressed

This is not satire, Luvs.  In fact, I really wish it were satire, but nonetheless it has had me in tears and pissing myself laughing.

The US conservative Christian group, One Million Moms, infamous for their homophobia and taking on Ellen DeGeneres and Modern Family, now have a new target in their sights; The Muppets.

The new ABC show, which is an adult-targeted spin-off of the 1970s shows Sesame Street and The Muppet Show has come under attack from 1MM – because Kermit the Frog doesn’t wear any pants.  I kid you not, you read that correctly.  1MM are claiming the new show, which is actually aimed at adults on a nostalgia kick, rather than kids, is immoral and perverted.

“1MM (One Million Moms) suspects there are going to be a lot of shocked moms and dads when they discover that the family-friendly Muppets of the 1970s are no more. It appears that no subject is off limits,” state the group in a petition calling for TV network ABC to cancel the show, “Kermit doesn’t wear pants.  The puppet characters loved by kids in the 1970s and 1980s and beyond are now weighing in on abortion and promiscuity.  Many parents unknowingly will let their children watch an episode only to find out its perverted nature too late, unless they are alerted ahead of time. 1MM and others need to get the word out to families to avoid this program at all costs.

Okay, to use a wide old Scots saying, haud the bus.  Firstly, Kermit has NEVER worn pants.  Not in Sesame Street, not in The Muppet Show, not ever.  If they’ve only just noticed that now, then given that two generations have now grown up loving Kermit and the rest of the Muppets (I adored Gonzo), they’re more than a tad bloody late.

Secondly, the ABC show is not aimed at children at all.  It is aimed at an adult audience who are nostalgic for the Muppets.  Storylines are to include Kermit’s break-up with Miss Piggy and Fozzie having a relationship with a woman.

ABC have made it perfectly clear that the new show is aimed at adults, by airing an ad for it with Kermit stating “Finally, a network TV show with full frontal nudity.”, which is no doubt what got 1MM’s backs up in the first place.  It is then up to parents to prevent children from watching the new show, not down to 1MM or any other moralists to seek to ban it and prevent others from watching it.

But then, it is nothing new.  The Muppet Show of the late 1970s was not aimed purely at children either.  It was a spin-off of Sesame Street, meant for adults and children alike, and actually contained a good deal of innuendo from characters and many guests alike, as well as some risque comments among the heckling from Statler and Waldorf.

Where's his pants?

Where’s HIS pants?

No doubt 1MM would like a return to wholesome American values of the past, when there were children’s characters like, ermm, Donald Duck – who went about in a jacket, a sailor’s had and guess what?  NO PANTS.  Same with Winnie the Pooh.  Would 1MM then ban anything by A A Milne?  Know what?  I honestly reckon they would.

That’s before we even get onto America’s favourite drag queen, Bugs Bunny, who very often appeared dressed as a woman, and even flirted with Elmer Fudd and Yosemite Sam in a number of cartoons.

BugsBunny_adpAnd just what did the vast majority of these cartoons show children?  Characters beating up and bombing each other, thereby teaching children that problems can be solved by violence.  Strangely enough, I do not hear 1MM complaining about that.  Of course not; violence in children’s shows has nothing to do with the conservative Christian obsession with the human body and sex, both of which they see as dirty and sinful.

Puppet shows have contained adult references since the art form began.  And they and cartoons are but extensions of many children’s stories and nursery rhymes which have very adult undertones and origins.  Just what do you imagine Jack and Jill were doing up that hill?  And of course, there is NOTHING at all suggestive about Little Red Riding Hood and the wolf – or her being rescued by the axeman with his huge chopper, is there?

And children’s shows have always and always shall contain moments of adult humour, thrown in for mum and dad to get a harmless giggle at.  Very few kids will even understand these references, and will wonder what their parents are suddenly splurting their tea and laughing at.  Such as this classic moment from Warner Bros cartoon Animaniacs, which is a particular favourite of mine:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1xmAC9Qu908

For 1MM to single out an adult nostalgia version of the Muppets is therefore not only ignorant of the facts, it is actually highly hypocritical.

Oh and were they not ridiclous enough, “One Million” Moms has a Facebook page which has a total following of – nine.

1MM

You’re getting there, “One Million Moms” – only another 999.991 to go.

No same-sex unions in the Bible? Someone better tell Noah!

Noahs-Ark3

I pinched this from Pink News.  Someone posted this picture to Twitter, an illustration from a children’s book about the Biblical story of Noah’s Ark – complete with two male lions going into the Ark.  Lionesses are of course much more slender and cannot grow manes.

Just a thought, if there was a large collective of homosexual lions, would that make for “gay pride”?

Oh, come on dears, you love my puns.