Abortion to pursue career in porn? So what?

Josie Cunningham

No different from any other career.

Porn actress and wannabe model Josie Cunningham is no stranger to controversy.  The publicity-hungry mum of three has caused raised eyebrows and received condemnation for many things.  She said she would abort a child to go on ‘reality’ show Celebrity Big Brother; she received a free breast enlargement on Britain’s National Health Service; she continued smoking when pregnant when she discovered the baby was a boy – stating that she would never smoke carrying a girl, which she craved; she started a dating site for unattractive people; when that failed she started up a website encouraging young girls to have unprotected sex and get pregnant; she tried to sell tickets to the birth of her third child; she put her breast milk up for sale online, describing breast-feeding as “borderline incest”.

Her latest step has the UK up in arms; she aborted her fourth pregnancy at 12 weeks in order to have cosmetic surgery on her nose, so that she can continue her careers in modelling and porn movies.  Stating that it was her body and her choice, Cunningham (25) told the Sunday People “Anyone who criticises me for putting my looks ahead of an unborn child has no right until they’re the ones putting food on the table for my kids.”

Cunningham had already booked in for her nose job but the cosmetic surgeon refused to carry out the procedure while she was pregnant.  It was then that she opted for abortion.

Okay, Josie Cunningham is obviously not the sharpest tool in the box, and at face value appears to be a truly vile excuse for a human being, and not the sort of person I for one would readily invite to a dinner party – unless it was her washing the dishes, and I’m not even sure that would be within her abilities.  I don’t even think she is really all that attractive (please do something about those fucking eyebrows, dear, your mouth reminds of the Scots tale ‘The lass wi’ the muckle mou’,  – and your boobs are TOO big for your frame).

She does however have a point.

So, Josie’s chosen careers are in modelling and porn, and it is because of this that people are up in arms about her decision to terminate her pregnancy, so that she can continue to pursue those careers.

What utter hypocrisy.

Anyone here who can honestly say they have never viewed pornography?  Anyone can put their hand on their heart and in all truthfulness say “Oh no, not I.”?  If there is, get the fuck out of my blog, you boring, uptight, frustrated, inhibited prigs.  The rest of you, read on.

I will happily admit I have viewed and do view porn.  And when I say I have viewed porn, HOO BOY, what porn I have viewed.  I have seen straight, gay and lesbian sex; cisgender, trans and intersex couples and individuals, and mixtures of all the above; short of anything obviously and quite rightly illegal and anything which harms a child or an animal, I have seen all sorts of nekkid bodies doing all sorts of naughty and kinky things, singly, in couples, trios and larger groups, and I have enjoyed every minute of it.

And if you are at all truthful, so have many of you out there.

So, when a porn actress has a termination to pursue her career, before anyone can judge, those of us who view porn have to admit that we are at least in part complicit in that.

And the question has to be asked, is Josie Cunningham’s decision really different from women who choose to terminate a pregnancy to continue or careers in any other fields?  This seems to be the contentious issue here, because it involves – GASP!  GOSH!  SHOCK!  HORROR! – sex, and that of course somehow makes Cunningham’s decision worse and wholly immoral.  Thereby further entrenching the hypocrisy involved.

The cultural inference is that it is all wrong because we have all been conditioned to see sex as sordid and dirty, and therefore anyone who takes part in porn must be wholly devoid of morals, or for that matter, any goodness or human decency.  Yet the very same people making those judgements, i.e. the majority of the population, are strangely enough those who have viewed, continue to view, and will continue to view porn.  There are no accurate statistics on pornography being viewed, but one website claims that at any given moment there are 28,258 people viewing porn on the internet.  Google Trends showed that in 2012 searches for porn in the UK came second only to the football (soccer for those across the pond – we actually use our feet with the ball, dears) World Cup, then taking place in England.  And of course with the advent of iPhones, those trends are growing.  So people can throw up their hands in horror all they want, but as with all services, so long as there is demand, there shall always be supply, and the inevitable consequences that creates.  Therefore, all of us who view porn must admit responsibility in part for any porn actress who choses to terminate a pregnancy.

What is worse, and who is more immoral?  The businesswoman who terminates a pregnancy to pursue a career in a property company and who takes decisions to foreclose on mortgages and thus makes people homeless?  The woman who has an abortion to follow a career in a finance company involved in arms dealing?  That woman who has an abortion to take a job in a multinational corporation whose actions exacerbate malnutrition in the developing world?

Or is it the woman who chooses abortion to pursue a career in an industry the vast majority of us view?  Is it the woman for whom the time simply is not right, to have a child, who can’t afford a child, or indeed one who recognises she would make a terrible mother?

I know which I choose.

And yet, it is Josie Cunningham, purely because she’s in the porn industry, that society comes down hardest on, and who is condemned because she is doing with her body and her life exactly what she wants to do – and is not harming anyone else in the process.  It is Josie Cunningham who has had her Twitter account hacked and vile comments put on it.  It is Josie Cunningham the press is now referring to as “The most hated woman in Britain”.

It is really disgusting the level some will sink to as well in their condemnation of Josie Cunningham.  While listening to a debate about her decision on a radio station, the broadcast was at one point interspaced by an advert for a charity which helps women who have suffered miscarriages and stillbirths.  Doing so does not back up the argument of those opposed to her, and furthermore, it does not respect women who have suffered miscarriages and stillbirths; if anything it grossly and shamefully disrespects them by using them for a cheap political point.

If I have one criticism of Josie Cunningham, it is her claims that she needs a nose job to pursue and continue her career, claiming its to house, clothe and feed her children.

I have long railed against cosmetic surgeons who carry out glamour jobs for the rich and famous only, purely because their talents could be used better elsewhere, on those who really need their skills, such as those who have been horribly disfigured in accidents or fires, those born with disfigurements, those who genuinely need breast enlargements or reductions – I happen to know an American woman with marvellous boobs, and who is suffering back problems due to them but cannot afford the reduction she so desperately needs – and of course, transgender people who need to transition.

And Josie Cunningham may kid many when she claims it’s all for her children, she may even kid herself, but she certainly will not kid me.  Being the media whore and a celebrity who is famous for being famous, she is not convincing me she is short of few bob.  When she had her boob job done free, she made even more enemies by stating on Twitter, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but tax payers will always fund me,”.  Well, the taxpayer no longer funds her, and anyone who can afford to get cosmetic surgery done privately should have absolutely no problems with the expense involved in bringing up a family.

I think it’s far more likely that at 25, Josie has finally woken up to the fact that if she wants to continue in her chosen industry, then her days are numbered.  She would already be considered “too old” by many modelling agencies, and she is already on the borderline of being considered “mature” in the porn industry.  Sorry, Josie, but whatever you do will never stop the march of time, and it is precisely attitudes such as yours to ‘beauty’ which drives ageism in the very industries you are involved in.

The Painted Mask of Ugly Perfection*

Ben Cohen – I would

The media, society and body fascism

I was prompted to write this blog after listening to a discussion on a radio show.  It concerned a comic masquerading as a newspaper, The Daily Mail, fat-shaming former England rugby player, Ben Cohen.

In a somewhat catty article, Mail ‘journalist’ (I use the term loosely, dears) Jemma Buckley, amidst terms like “beefy” and “portly”, commented on pics of Ben during his holiday in Miami, stating “it would appear that Ben Cohen has been making the most of his retirement from the sports field”, “The former England star looked out of shape”, “carrying a few more pounds than he’s used to”, and even “Perhaps the 36-year-old has indulged in one too many romantic meals with reported girlfriend Kristina Rihanoff”.

Saucer of milk for Ms Buckley.

Oh please.  So Ben has put on a few pounds, but know what?  He still looks great, he still has a physique many men would kill to have, and he is still damned sexy with it.  Okay, he’s not my type – I’m more fond of androgynous pretty boys (whom some would claim I ‘collect’ on social media, but I think that’s uncharitable), but even then, I certainly wouldn’t kick him out of bed in a hurry – and I doubt many of my readers would either.  If anything he looks better carrying a little more weight in my opinion.

The discussion on the radio was extremely interesting as it was traumatic to listen to, as it exposed that fat-shaming, and other abuse based upon bodily appearance are on the increase.  There was a call from one woman who said she was 6′ 8″ tall and with a broad-shouldered and sturdy frame and large hands, saying that she had suffered verbal abuse being called “homo” and “tranny”.  The poor woman is not even transgender – she’s cishet.

Probably the most disturbing aspect of this phenomena is that it is now affecting children, and we are not talking just teens either.  My heart went out to one grandfather who called in and was obviously in tears as he told how he noticed his 8-year-old grandson was continually sucking in his stomach, and when questioned it turned out the little chap, who apparently still has a bit of his baby fat, was being bullied at school for being fat.  We have a saying in Scotland, “Fools and bairns speak at the cross whit they hear by the ingleside.”, so I am immediately going to lay the blame for that one not just upon the bullies, but upon their parents, who if they are not actually bringing up little bigots (which I assume they are), they are certainly doing nothing to discourage it.

I reserved my rage for one – male – doctor who was interviewed on the show and who stated “This has been a problem with girls and women for a long time.  The last thing we need is to add men into the equation.”

So wrong.  So very, very, wrong.  Firstly, the said doctor seems to be suggesting that if it is a female phenomena, then that is okay, but woe betide it should ever become a male issue.  Secondly, perhaps because there have been serious problems with women suffering abuse due to image, then if it takes it affecting men for society to take notice, perhaps that is precisely what is needed for action to finally be taken.

It is 37 years since Fat is a Feminist Issue by psychotherapist Susie Orbach was first published, in which she taught women to be happy with their bodies, no matter what shape they are.  In the intervening years, not only has society apparently learned little to nothing, if anything, things appear to be getting worse.  And one shudders to think just how many women have died in the pursuit of the ‘perfect’ body, or the ‘bikini figure’.

How the hell are we still so judgemental in 2015?  As one who can recall Twiggy in her anorexic heyday, I would have thought we were past that long ago.  But no, we are now all expected to have the perfect image.

I have big problems with that term ‘perfect’.  Firstly, I would like those who speak of it to define ‘perfect’, because what may be perfect for some is far from perfect for others.  Secondly, ‘perfect’ human beings for me immediately conjures up images of the Nazi ideal of a tall, blonde-haired, blue-eyed “master race”.  And I’m not being sensational here.  Any society which judges people for their image, is only a step away from excluding those who do not adhere to the set “perfect” image.  It is yet one more form of discrimination, and like all discrimination, deserves to be condemned and consigned to the dustbin of history.  I like to refer to it as ‘body fascism’.

It would be oh so easy to take the hyper-feminist view of blaming men and only men for this, but it simply is not the case.  Certainly the media must take a great deal of the blame, not only for telling women they must be slim, and posting pictures of models and celebrities who look, in their opinion, perfect.  But women must take some of the blame too.  Increasingly it is women writing the articles in rubbish magazines aimed at the female market, and of course, women read them, see the pics, read the crap articles and attempt to appear like the women in the magazines.

And of course, they never are going to look like them.  Not unless they have the financial acumen, and the access to resources such as the same personal trainers, hairdressers, beauticians and that most useless section of society, image coaches, as the celebrities employ.  And that is before they even have to splash out on cosmetics, clothes and jewellery which are well beyond the pocket of the average woman.  But even then, they are still not going to look like the models in the magazines for one simple reason – the photographs are tweaked, and always have been.  It used to be a matter of time-consuming and careful airbrushing of actual photographs.  Nowadays models can be made to look even more ‘perfect’ at the press of a few keys with software such as Photoshop.  So women attempting to look like the models are attempting to achieve the impossible.

“Ah, but Xandra,” I hear you say, “women wouldn’t do that if it were not expected of them by men.”  Really?  Think so?  Certainly there is some aspect it of that.  However, I reckon those of us who are genderqueer crossdressers and M to F trans are in a unique position to comment upon that.  How many genderqueer / trans women do themselves up and dress in pretty and / or sexy clothing to attract a partner or to please men?  Not many to none is my guess.  I highly suspect that most, if not all, like me do so for their own self-esteem and to feel good within themselves.  And you will probably find that cisgender women dress nice and do themselves up pretty for exactly the same reasons.  Even if they do get caught in the image trap, I sincerely doubt they are doing it for men.  Anyone who thinks that is but a step away from the claim that women get raped for dressing provocatively.  I would like to hear your opinions on this, sisters –  be you cis, genderqueer, or trans.

In 2004 the cosmetics manufacturer, Unilever, launched the Dove Campaign for Real Beauty after interviews with women revealed that only 4% of themselves considered themselves beautiful.  They then launched a series of billboard adverts showing regular women, not models, in plain white underwear.  Not one of the models was a day under 30, they were all shapes and sizes, some were quite curvy, the photos were unretouched – and they were all gorgeous.  The campaign was an enormous success in teaching women that all shapes and appearances are beautiful.  And while Unilever has been rightly condemned for also producing skin-lightening products and producing sexist adverts, the Dove campaign continues to educate women – and men – around the world.

Dove Real Beauty

I tell you dears, either as Xandra or my male alter-ego, I would happily bed any of these women.  And if some skinny supermodel is about, she make herself useful by fixing some coffee – assuming she has the brains to accomplish such a task (yes, dears, I can be catty too).

It is worth bearing in mind that not one single person on the face of this planet has a perfect body, or perfect appearance.  Everybody is critical of themselves in one way or another.  Some may have a few pounds (I’m no sylph myself) more than their body mass index, some may be short, tall, have freckles, a mole, boobs or a willy they are unhappy with the size of.  Some may have to wear glasses, some may have teeth which are far from perfect, some may suffer skin complaints.  Show me the person who claims to have the ‘perfect’ body, and I’ll show you a complete egomaniac, and I’ll look carefully and find something which does not fit in with the ‘perfect’ image.

And besides which, what is the point in having a gorgeous body and looks when you are ugly inside?  I would much rather have a regular person with a few obvious blemishes and treats others with kindness, than some arrogant Adonis or painted doll who is completely up themselves and judgemental of others.

And everyone is blonde, and everyone is beautiful.
And when blonde and beautiful are multiplied,
they become so dull and dutiful.
And when faced with dull and dutiful,
they let of a warning flare;
a battle-khaki personality,
wearing red underwear.
(The Beautiful South, Rotterdam)

I am not for one moment saying that nobody, female or male, should not diet or work to make the best of themselves if they want.  Everybody who does so however, needs to be sure they are doing it for themselves, not because of pressure put on them by others, and most certainly not because the media tells them they have to.  Certainly do not do it for catty cows like Jemma Buckley.

Above all, make sure you do it healthily.  There have been a number of cases recently of women dying through taking slimming pills, not to mention deaths through eating disorders continue to be a problem decades after they should have ceased to be through.   Frankly, when it comes to deaths or even severe illness through ‘image problems’ none is one case too many.

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*Line from Berketex Bribe by the punk band, Crass.